You're as useless as ejection seats on a helicopter. You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine. You're as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker. You're as useless as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. You're as useless as the G in Lasagna. You're as useless as Anne Frank's drum kit. Best As Useless As Jokes. You're as useless as the 4 US 4 presidents who wasted trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with… the Taliban. You're as useless as a condom at a feminist rally. You're as useless as a Russian VISA card. You're as useless as Stevie Wonder in a paint store.
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I tell one of our service writers he's about as useful as a politician, he's a great conversationalist but otherwise useless. As useful as tits on a spaceship. Tits on a bull. Tissue-paper raincoat. Here's a belter.. A trapdoor on a lifeboat. Nipples on a breastplate. You're as useful as sunscreen on the sun. A chocolate fire-guard. A spare cock on a horse. "a box of smashed doorknobs". i dunno why, but it's what my mom always says and it always makes me laugh. A haiku without a refrigerator. Useless as tit on a bull. A Palestinian alarm clock. Tits on a boar. Tits on a boar hog. "As Useless As" sayings are a charming quirk of the English language, often employed to humorously underscore the lack of utility in something or someone. These expressions typically make a comparison to something universally acknowledged as ineffective in a given situation, such as "as useless as a chocolate fireguard" or "as useful. 60 Hilarious IPhone Jokes That Are Siri-ously Funny. humornama. 2 upvotes. 204 subscribers in the HumorNama community. Welcome to HumorNama, the original source of all memes, jokes and funny stories on the Internet.
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You're as useless as a ham sandwich at a Barmitzvah. You're as useless as a color blind interior decorator. You're as useless as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. You're as useless as a Red Lights in Grand Theft Auto. You're as useless as a phone with 1% remaining battery life. The owner warns him: "I have a huge Rottweiler and a Parrot, the dog is nice but be careful of the bird!" The handyman shrugs it of and enters the house. Indeed, there is a huge Rottweiler sitting on the couch, but he behaves friendly. But from the birdcage, the handyman hears the Parrot: "Hey, asshole!" Best As Useless As Jokes. You're as useless as the 4 US 4 presidents who wasted trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with… the Taliban. You're as useless as a condom at a feminist rally. You're as useless as a Russian VISA card. You're as useless as Stevie Wonder in a paint store. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there.
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Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill. "This must be a mistake," the man says. "I've been here only 20 minutes!". The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast premiered back in 1974. It stayed on the air for 10 years and still remains one of the most popular television shows of all time. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its most popular episode. If the networks haven't made it obvious enough, we'll make it clear: Everyone loves a.
Introduction. Humor has the remarkable ability to find the amusing side of life's quirkiest aspects, including things that may seem utterly pointless or useless. In this compilation of Useless Jokes, we aim to take a lighthearted approach to the concept of uselessness and show that even the most trivial of things can be a source of laughter. American here. My dad used to use this incessantly about people at work in the 80s.. screen door on a submarine.. solar powered flashlight.. fart in a spacesuit. As useless as Anne Frank's drum kit. Gotta go to Weird Al on this one. "As useless as Jpegs to Helen Keller."
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20. View more comments. #25. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue." Report. Funny insults for kids. 21. I do not have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. 22. You have the attention span of an ice cream in July. 23. I will not have a battle of wits with someone.
