1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ." 3.. "I never trust a flat butt - they're always up to something." "My butt is so big, it has its own gravitational pull. I call it 'Butt Force'." "A wise man once said, 'If at first you don't succeed, shake your butt and try again.'" "I'm not saying my butt is magical, but every time I sit down, a unicorn appears."
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1. "I always say 'Morning' instead of 'Good Morning,' because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people." 2. "Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It's called balance." 3. "Face your problems, don't Facebook them." 4. Here are 100 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh, and have a good time! 😂 Life is short and the happiest people are those who live lightly ( with a smile on their hearts). You'll discover quotes by Bill Murray, Tina Fey, Jim Carrey, and more. Enjoy! I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright Funny Quotes 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the. FUNNY ASS QUOTES Lmao · 115 Pins 3y N Collection by Nicole Byrd Pearson Similar ideas popular now Funny Quotes Funny Quotes Bones Funny Slingback Heel Funny Stuff Ass Sexy Quotes Lilac Funny Things Quotations Quote Lmao Funny Sexual Quotes Sarcastic Quotes Funny Funny Memes Words Quotes Life Quotes Evil Quotes Sex Quotes Sayings Qoutes Lmao
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Sarcastic Quotes. 1. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.". - Steven Wright. 2. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.". 3. "I am not young enough to know everything.". Life is about creating yourself.". - George Bernard Shaw. "It takes skill to be real.". - Tupac Shakur. "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.". - Beverly Sils. "A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.". Charles Shulz. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". - George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. THEY CAN'T GET AWAY THIS TIME.". - Lewis B Puller. "The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.". - Steve Jobs. "Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.". - Henry Rollins. "When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone.
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Nov 3, 2018 - Explore Joanne Miramontes's board "funny ass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, funny quotes, funny. The funniest butt jokes 1. What did the butt cheeks say after being sick of the nonsense? We can stop this crap. 2. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks. 3. What has two butts and kills people? An assassin. 4. What do you call a zombie's butt? A dead end. 5. What do you call a ghost's butt? Boo-ty. Photo by David Em/Humor Living.
Want to be a musician? Learn an instrument. Do you want to be the next Cris Angel? Go to magic School and learn a spell. Want to be a smartass? Use hilarious smartass quotes; it's that easy. Just be warned, not everyone will welcome these quotes with open arms. These quotes are not from Corinthians 13: 4-8, and it is most likely not a wedding. Funny ass quotes 270 Pins 2y S Collection by Frances Sempowski Similar ideas popular now Funny Bones Funny Funny Cute Hilarious Funny Memes Funny Humour Sarcastic Humor Whatcha Say School Reunion Everything Funny Lol The Steel Trap Haha Great Quotes Me Quotes Funny Quotes Famous Quotes Drink Quotes Snarky Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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Don't give up even when the going gets tough "If you're going through hell, keep going." —Winston Churchill. Winston Churchill, the two-time Prime Minister of Great Britain, who in his first. I'm Just Gonna Park My Ass Right Here Its Funny Cuz U Think U Can Beat My Ass Lol, That Post Made My Day Meanwhile At Walmart… Phone Battery At 1% Get To The Charga Say Good Morning Before I Knock Yo Ass Out So You Have An Opinion About My Life Somewhere Right Now There's Someone On Your Page That Nap You Take After Yo Mama Whoop Yo Ass
