Pin by GroundtoFork on Funny & Inspirational Stuff Husband humor

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." "Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!" "My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside." "My husband says I feed him like he's a god: every meal is a burnt offering." 1. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." — Helen Rowland 2. "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the.

Fun Husband Quotes that all wives must read! Husband quotes funny

You have vitamin ME deficiency. Thank you for being my husband and the only person I can annoy for the rest of my life. The tingly feeling I get when I hug you is common sense, leaving my body. I hate that you stole my heart. That's why I got revenge by stealing your last name. 1. "The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are: good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." — Juno 2. - Joyce Armor "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." - Jim Carrey "I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes. He gave me a hug." - Unknown "Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They'll never tell anyone because they aren't even listening." - Unknown Dive into a collection of funny quotes and sayings about marriage, filled with witty perspectives on the journey of love, featuring famous funny quotes about marriage and love. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade." — Carrie

Pin by Scott Pettit on Funny Husband humor, Husband quotes funny

Quote #1 "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…. She hugged me." Unknown Quote #2 "Marriage is a relationship when one person is always right and the other is the husband." Unknown Quote #3 "Husbands are the best persons to share your secrets with… They won't tell anyone because they aren't even listening" Unknown Quote #4 "Had date night tonight. Went to Lowe's and bought a toilet" —Anonymous "After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that." —Barack Obama "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." —Anonymous Because I got to marry you." —Chip Gaines "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." —Prince Philip "Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and. Where did all the love go?! "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." —Mae West For more laughs with your spouse, check out these marriage jokes that will have.

50 Best and Funny Husband Quotes and Sayings

200 Marriage Jokes. 1. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 2. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a. The ultimate list of funny marriage quotes. 1. "To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up." -Ogden Nash. 2. "The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship." -Jackie Kennedy. 3. Brilliantly Funny Marriage Quotes. "My prince is not coming on a white horse.. He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.". - Unknown. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.". - Socrates. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the. Funny Marriage Quotes. 1. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.". 2. "Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.". 3. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.". 4.

Funny Marriage Quotes About Husbands ShortQuotes.cc

Funny Quotes About Being Married. "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.". "I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.". "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.". "No, please, don't eat me. - Alfred Hitchcock Copy Husbands, love your wives well! Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how they should treat women, and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men. - Dave Willis Copy