Top 101 Baptist Jokes: Why don't Baptists like playing chess in the park? Because everyone passing by would think they're having fun! How do you know you're a Baptist? You think God's presence is strongest in the back three pews. Why do Baptists never recognize each other at the liquor store? Because they're too busy not recognizing themselves! "I just can't s. upvote downvote report A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbi are camping together Around the campfire they each claim to be the best at winning converts to their respective faiths. To settle the friendly dispute they decide to seek out a bear and try to convert it.
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From jokes about the holy water turning to wine ("Little Timmy's first miracle!") to wisecracks about how the baby screamed so loud, even the Devil heard it and changed his ways—Baptism Jokes bring an extra sprinkle of levity to an already splashy occasion. Best Baptism Jokes The United States doesn't use torture techniques such as water boarding. Check out our collection of jokes about Baptists below. Q: What do you call a Baptist with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How can you tell if a Baptist is really happy? A: They crack a smile. Q: How can you tell if a Baptist is lying? A: Their lips are moving. Corny jokes What do you call a Baptist with a sense of humor? A paradox! Baptist Jokes What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist? A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store. How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip? Invite two of them. What do Atilla the Hun and John the Baptist have in common? Their middle name. Score: 43 Home 7 Southern Baptist, Ecumenical Jokes That Will Have You ROFL By Elijah Metz, BuzzVine Contributor Thursday, October 24, 2013 Who said Christians, or Southern Baptists in particular, don't have a sense of humor? Below are 7 jokes that poke fun at Southern Baptists, other Christian denominations and faith traditions. 1.
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Top 50 Baptism Jokes: Why did the priest bring a ladder to the baptism? Because he wanted to reach new spiritual heights! Why don't churches use champagne for baptisms? Too much holy spirit can be intoxicating! Why did the priest become a baker? Because he kneaded the dough to baptize the bread! What did the baby say after his baptism? 1. Why don't Baptists go on dates? They believe in predestination. 2. How do you identify a Secret Baptist at a party? He's the one who doesn't recognize any fellow church members. 3. What's the difference between a Baptist and a cat lover? One lives their life following the ten "cat"mandments. 4. How do you make holy water in a Baptist church? I am over 18 An atheist man married a devout Catholic woman. The woman insisted they have a full catholic wedding, led by a priest and including the sacrament. The man loved her, so he capitulated. Every Sunday the woman insisted they attend mass. The man loved her, so he capitulated. To 'pitch' the word of God. Why do Baptist parents make great comedians? They've had plenty of 'practice' with their kids. How did the Baptist become a gardener of faith? They planted 'seeds' of love in people's hearts. Why did the Baptist bring a pillow to the church potluck? In case they needed a 'prayer' nap.
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"Heaven help us!" How did the priest dry off after baptizing a baby? He used a holy towel! Why did the baby refuse to be baptized? It thought the water was too deep-end-ent! Read More: Jokes About Angels Puns About Baptism How did the preacher get through the cold baptismal water? He had faith in his insulated vestments! Christian jokes range from the World War II joke about "since Pontius was a pilot" to Emo Phillips' story about two Baptists on a bridge.While some Christians worry that it's irreverent to make jokes about church or biblical characters, there is a long tradition of Christians having a sense of humor about their faith.
There are three truths in religion: 1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store. upvote downvote report. Southern Baptist Jokes. A Roman Catholic priest, a Southern Baptist minister, and a Rabbi were all at a bar. They were all arguing over who could convert the most followers to his respective religion. A rather drunk man at the bar yells, "Anyone can convert a person! It takes real skill to convert a bear!"
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Read jokes about baptist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny baptist jokes. From clean jokes to dirty jokes, we've got all the jokes you need to keep you laughing. Quick Jump To Short Baptist Jokes Baptist One Liners Baptist Church Jokes Baptist Drinking Jokes Bubba. Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!". His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world.". Bubba says "Yes I do!". Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!". Bubba says. upvote downvote report.
